New Non-Scientific Information About Not Good Enough Syndrome

By Andrew E. Kaufman, author of psychological thrillers 

I’m reaching a point in my current manuscript where I feel as though I’m starting to get a handle on things.

Well, that’s a relative term.

One never truly has a handle on things when one suffers from what is known as Not Good Enough Syndrome. You may have heard of this affliction. It’s non-specific, widely undocumented, and for the most part, difficult to diagnose.

Symptoms may include:

• Self doubt
• Self-loathing
• Second-guessing everything.
• Not liking anything.
• Lack of inspiration, ideas, or sanity.
• Isolated episodes of global panic (with intermittent aspirations of world-building).
• Private, self-contained tantrums, which can range in severity.

 And there are subcategories, and of course, I have a few of those as well. Currently I’m in the throes of, There Aren’t Enough Damned Twists in this Book! (Yes! There is an actual exclamation point at the end! A demarcation of severity!)

Here are how my symptoms express themselves: If you have a thriller, then you’ve got to have twists. The problem—at least for me—is they never come easily. Hard as I try, I’m never able to simply think those up. Usually, they must arrive on their own terms.  What this means is, there’s a lot of waiting. Some non-secular praying to nobody in particular. Perhaps what might even resemble a highly specialized, ancient ritual (translation: A lot of stomping and often loud, nonverbal communication).

This is my process, and as weird as it might be, and as hard as I’ve tried to change it, I’ve come to accept that I can’t.  In some ways, I suppose, this has benefits, because it doesn’t often allow me the luxury of resting on my laurels—that’s another condition known as, Good Enough Syndrome (or in the layman’s vernacular, Just Plain Lazy).

So, what’s the prognosis? The treatment? How does one manage such seemingly unmanageable symptoms? After years of intensive study and observation, I’ve found a few tactics.  Just in case you, or someone you love, suffers, I’ll share my detailed and highly non-scientific findings:

• Allow the ideas and words to come, and DON’T PANIC when they won’t—they will. They always do.
• Know that the harder the struggle (and if you don’t give up) the better the work.
• Never (Never!) compare your work to someone else’s. You are not them, and they are not you. Doing this will only take you to the Dark Place. I’ve been there. Trust me, It’s ugly.
• Exercise will clear the cobwebs and help hasten the muse.
• Externalizing your thought process is like breathing fresh air. It can be as easy has having someone sit and listen while you ramble on.
• Music can stir the emotions and ignite ideas in ways few other things can.
• Understand that anxiety will distort things and take you to Crazy Town.  Another ugly place.
• When you’ve reached a clear impasse, it’s time to stop.
• Don’t forget why you write.

Back to work for me.

Onward, brave soldiers.

What Would you Give up to be a Writer?

Note from A.M. Khalifa, thriller writer, Google+

I am always inspired by how compelling the desire to write and be a writer is. Like an obsession, once it takes hold of you, there's no stopping it. Everywhere I go I meet writers who are juggling other successful careers, trying to "make it" so they could quit everything else and focus on being an author. Some of us go even further and take bolder risks. Like my friend A.D. Starrling who quit being a full time doctor in England after many years of studying and training to give writing a real shot. She'll tell you all about it as my guest blogger this week. Enjoy!

By A.D. Starrling 

I grew up on the tropical island of Mauritius, where academic prowess is highly regarded. I come from a family of scientists and from a very young age, I was expected to compete and do my best. For my father, that meant winning. Being second was not good enough. I had a pretty stellar school career. I majored in the sciences and landed a state-funded scholarship for a medical degree at a British university. I graduated in the top of my year, secured my first choice pediatric rotation, and passed my specialist exams within three years.

But throughout my training, I secretly indulged in another passion I had: Writing.

My father was an avid book collector and would take me to dusty old bookshops in the capital from when I was four. In addition to instilling in me the drive for success, he also taught me to love books. I started writing at twelve, and by the time I left the island at the age of twenty, I had written several short stories, two novels, and was a third of the way into my third novel. All throughout my education and training, I kept telling myself that I would write full time when I retired from medicine.

With just a few years left before becoming a full-fledged consultant, I quit full-time medicine. I was not happy with the direction my life had taken and the changes happening in the National Health Service. I became an agency doctor, with flexible working hours, better money, and the ability to work all over the country.

Six months later, on a train journey to London, the three characters that would drive me back to my writing desk walked into my head and wouldn't stop talking to me. And that’s when it really hit me. Why wait until I retire? Writing is what I want to do now.

I researched the publishing industry and discovered it was fraught with difficulty, with plenty of rejections and setbacks to be had. There was no guarantee I would ever be published or be able to make a living from it. Back then, I rejected self-publishing, equating it in my mind with the stigma of vanity publishing.

Still, I was driven and decided to write for five or six years and query agents and publishers. If during that time the consistent feedback was that I was a bad or mediocre writer, I would return to medicine and write as a hobby.

In 2012, no one had convinced me that I was a bad or mediocre writer, but I hadn’t gotten anywhere either. The consistent message I was getting was that I was a great writer, but hadn’t found my voice or perfect genre. Then a short story I submitted to the British Fantasy Society Short Story competition made the shortlist. It would eventually become the first novel I published.

One day, I came across an article that would change my life. It was about an author I had never heard of before, a certain JA Konrath, who had attained mainstream success as a self-published author. I took another look at self-publishing and saw it in a different light. It was now not just acceptable, but increasingly the smarter route to take. I decided to go for it.

From that time onward, I began seeing myself as a full-time writer, who once dabbled in medicine. I work part-time in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and that door remains open for me. Medicine still pays the bills. But isn’t that the story of almost all indie writers? We are chasing the dream, and using our other skills to sustain ourselves until writing becomes our sole vocation.

My first book, Soul Meaning (Seventeen Book 1), was the winner of the Fantasy category of the National Indie Excellence Awards in 2013, a finalist in the adventure category of the same award, a finalist in the action-adventure category of the Next Generation Indie Book Awards 2013, and got honorable mention in the general fiction category at the Hollywood Book Festival 2013.

I am still filled with fear and doubts when it comes to my writing career. Am I crazy to give up years of studying and training and a near-certain future of professional success and material comfort to chase a passion? Maybe. But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try.

I have a memo note stuck to the lamp on my desk. It says, “Who do you want to be?”

It’s the first thing I see every morning before I start writing.

The answer to that question is what drives me to carry on.

What about you, fellow authors, what have you given up and what risks are you taking to chase this writing dream? Indeed, what double, even triple lives are you leading? And readers, what drives and wakes you up every morning?

AD Starrling is the author of the award-winning and nominated supernatural thriller series Seventeen. She lives in England, where she spends her time writing fast-paced, action-packed thrillers, and juggling babies in the intensive care unit where she works as a part-time pediatrician.

Soul Meaning (Seventeen Book #1) and King’s Crusade (Seventeen Book #2) the e-books are currently available for sale on Amazon, with the paperbacks scheduled for release in March and April 2014.

More A.D. Starrling links:

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The Devil's Key

The Kill Order (Sydney Fitzpatrick #5) by Robin Burcell (HarperCollins mass market, 31 December 2013).

Reviewed by Marlyn Beebe.

The Devil's Key is a list of numbers.  An apparently random list of numbers that is actually a computer code that, if found and used, poses a threat to the political and financial security of the U.S., and perhaps even that of the entire world.

Bo Brewer, a young computer technician who buys and resells used copy machines comes across a group that had been used in a government office, and unintentionally disposed of without clearing all the hard drives. Out of sheer curiosity he copies them, and discovers that one has a page with nothing but a list of seemingly random numbers.  As a computer geek, he assumes it's some sort of code, and becomes obsessed with deciphering it.

He shows it to his friend Piper, who happens to have an eidetic memory.  While she's in the apartment above his shop, two men come in and kill him.  Meanwhile, Piper is spirited away by someone who turns out to be FBI agent Zachary Griffin, who is in the early stages of a relationship with Sydney Fitzpatrick.

Sydney had worked in the office the copiers had come from, and might have a copy of the Key.

The situation is made even more complicated by the fact that Sydney's father had been involved in the theft of The Devil's Key twenty years earlier, and had been killed as a result.  One of the investigating officers in the case had been Zach Griffin, who may or may not have fired the lethal bullet.

This complex, fast-paced thriller captures the reader and is very difficult to put down.  Unlike many tales of this sort, the characters are well-developed and have actual Relationships, Personalities and Baggage.  Lots of baggage.

It helps to have read the earlier books in the series, but it's not a necessity.  If you haven't read the first four Sydney Fitzpatrick novels, I can almost guarantee you will find them after you finish this one.  And you won't regret it.


FTC Full Disclosure:  Many thanks to HarperCollins and Edelweiss for providing an e-galley for me to read and review.

Escaping the Past

The Wicked Girls by Alex Marwood (Penguin trade paperback, 30 July 2013.).

Reviewed by Marlyn Beebe.


The book opens with a scene set in 1986. A girl describes being in what appears to be a prison cell.  She describes herself as "small and alone and scared and confused", and mentions hearing someone named Bel screaming and crying for her mother.  At the end of this short prologue, we learn that Jade and Bel have killed someone named Chloe, and that there appears to be no doubt in anyone's mind about this.

Fast forward to the present day.

Amber Gordon, who works in the custodial department of  an amusement park called Funnland, stumbles across the dead body of a young woman in the hall of mirrors, not the first that season in the small English seaside town of Whitmouth.  Murmurs about serial killers have already been circulating.

Kirsty Lindsay is a freelance journalist who lives in Farnham, with her unemployed husband Jim and their two children.  She doesn't want to take the story about the Whitmouth murders, but since Jim hasn't been able to find a new job, she feels she has no choice. 

It soon becomes apparent that Amber and Kirsty were once Jade and Bel, though it takes some time before we learn which was which.  The story of how each got to where she is is told with flashbacks to 1986, the events of the present, and their own internal dialogues.

The tale is dark and disturbing, but at the same time compelling.  I had to take a break every few chapters, but there was no question that I would keep reading to the [very unexpected] ending.

Alex Marwood is a pseudonym of a successful British journalist, and The Wicked Girls is her debut thriller, although she has published four other novels under the pseudonym Serena Mackesy.



FTC Full Disclosure:  Many thanks to The Penguin Group for the Advance Reading Copy.

A Glimpse Inside the Writing Cave

By Andrew E. Kaufman, author of psychological thrillers

It’s that time of year again.

No, I’m not talking about Fall or Thanksgiving or even Santa's much awaited visit (although, coincidentally, these things always happen around the same time). I’m talking about Deadline Fast Approaching Time. I’m talking about Deep Editing Time, or as I like to call it, That Whacky Time.

The Writing Cave in all it's disheveled beauty

The stakes are a bit higher this go-round, because, true to form, I’m running a little behind schedule (It’s a long story.You really don’t want to hear about it). That said, the Writing Cave isn’t exactly the Happiest Place on Earth, just a very messy one, with an occasional bottle rocket of angst firing through it. Guess you might say things are sort of rockin’ here, just not in a fun way—the other one.

Outside the Cave, it’s not looking a whole lot better. The dishes barely get done, we eat what we can scavenge or hunt, and we don’t come up for air unless absolutely necessary (translation: sleep deprivation, minimal human contact, personal grooming habits taken to a bare minimum). Hence, the reason why, while walking past a mirror the other day, I nearly scared the crap out of myself. Staring back was some crazed lunatic. We’re talking the whole nine yards: hair flying every-which-way, sweats and T-shirt beyond disheveled, and, oh… those sad, sleep-deprived eyes. The only thing missing was a sign that read: Will work for the return of my  life... and my sanity.

On the manuscript level, things appear a bit more hopeful, but only because the Cave administrator is a whip-cracking taskmaster (that’s me). Nothing is good enough, everything is out-of-whack, and the writing is in need of serious repair. While on some level, I know that none of this is actually across-the-board-true—on another, I’ve accepted that it’s part of my process. A crazy-making yet predictable process, yeah, but nevertheless, one that keeps me from bending to mediocrity. Well ... there's also the chocolate, the coffee, and of course, my fearless writing partner:

For evidence of my self-abuse, I present the following exhibits, where you will find a few excerpts from the manuscript:

A few minutes later, there are no more tears left to cry. <<You sure about that? 'Cuz so far in this chapter, I've counted ten. Bet he's got a few more>>

I gaze out, marveling at the miles of open-spaced freedom, a backdrop so stunning that it defies words. <<How about taking a stab at it anyway, since, like, that's kinda what we do here?>>

I look up toward the sky and see glistening stars against a velvety backdrop <<Brilliant. All we need now is a paper moon>>

I lean back and take in a cleansing breath <<He already took one of those in the last paragraph. I'm thinking he should be clean by now>> 

On the road, my mind begins lethargically wandering <<kinda like this sentence, huh?>> 

I smile at him, and he smiles back <<sure is a whole lot of smiling going on here. Did I miss the joke about unimpressive beat actions?>> 

The glimpses, although slow at first, were steadily building. The father I so deeply loved and admired, with whom I shared such immeasurable closeness, was gradually slipping away. << I'm thinking a few of those adverbs need to slip away, while we're at it.>> 

The point of this rather humiliating little display? If you think those words just flow onto the pages, think again. A lot has to come before that. Since I write thrillers, there is blood (but I try to keep that on the pages), then comes the sweat, followed by, of course, the tears.

And that, my friend, is how you make a book.

At least in my world.

Revenge is Bitter

Evil in All Its Disguises (Lily Moore #3) by Hilary Davidson (Forge hardcover, 5 March 2013).

Reviewed by Marlyn Beebe.


Travel journalist Lily Moore takes a press junket to a resort in Acapulco.  She's a little surprised at how well she's treated on this trip:  business class flight, then a suite at the Hotel Cerón.  Also surprisingly, there are few other guests at the hotel, but the staff inform her that the place hasn't opened to the public yet.

She's taken aback yet again when she runs into another travel writer, Sky McDermott, who doesn't look well:  not only is she much thinner, but she appears to have been recently weeping.  She brushes aside Lily's concern, attributing her appearance to allergies, but Lily can't help but sense undercurrents of ... something.

Over drinks, Skye tells Lily that she's planing to write an investigative piece, in order to get even with someone she was recently involved with.  When she leaves their table in the bar to make a phone call, but doesn't return, Lily becomes more uneasy.  Then she learns that the hotel is part of an umbrella group owned by her ex-fiancé, Martin Sklar, and she's certain that something is amiss.

Hilary Davidson has also been a travel writer, so Lily's professional life is based on her own experiences, but it's her skill with language that makes her prose superb, as evidenced by the opening paragraph of the first chapter:

The snake had coiled itself halfway around my ankle by the time I spotted it.  Cool and smooth against my skin, it inched across my sandaled foot, turning its head back and upward to meet my gaze.  Its slender body was striped with red and yellow and blackish brown. Even though its eyes were all but invisible in its glossy dark head, I was sure it was regarding me with pure defiance.

Her proficiency extends to the construction of the plot; the story is enthralling and very difficult to put down.  It's easy enough to understand what's going on if (like me) one hasn't read the previous books in the series.  I'm definitely going to the library as soon as I can to find them.


FTC Full Disclosure:  Many thanks to the author for the advance reading copy of this book.

Triple Thriller Treat!

by L.J. Sellers, author of provocative mysteries & thrillers

Andrew and I both have new books coming out this month, and so does our good friend and fellow T&M author J Carson Black. So I’m taking a moment to share the descriptions for all three.

Andrew’s new book, Darkness and Shadows, a terrific sequel to his bestseller, The Lion, the Lamb, the Hunted, takes up Patrick’s story where he left off. Here’s the provocative book description:

The only woman Patrick Bannister ever loved has died ... again. Struggling professionally and reeling from the psychological wounds left by a horribly abusive mother, Patrick is driven over the edge by a news report. A wealthy socialite couple has been murdered, and while the wife's name isn't familiar, her face certainly is. It's his first and only love, Marybeth, the woman who he lost to a horrific fire years ago.

Is he losing his mind? Patrick's obsession to find the truth sends him scouring records and documents that lead to a shocking discovery: there's no evidence Marybeth ever lived or, for that matter, ever died. Was the love of Patrick's life just a product of his abused psyche?

Reviewers say: “I've never read a better mix of engrossing suspense that also slammed me with heartfelt and raw emotion.”—Jessica Park, New York Times bestselling author

L.J.'s new novel, Crimes of Memory, is the eighth investigation for Detective Jackson. Here’s the cover copy:

Fresh off the leave-of-absence he took following his ex-wife's tragic death, Detective Wade Jackson's life is in upheaval. He struggles to keep his grief-stricken daughter, from succumbing to the same alcoholism demon as her mother. When a body is found in a local storage unit, Jackson hopes a simple open-and-shut homicide case will help him get back on track. But when the victim is identified as ex-con Craig Cooper—a former meth addict who did time for bank robbery, the spoils of which were never recovered—the case becomes challenging.

The same night Cooper is murdered, a firebomb goes off in a bottled water factory on the other side of town. The prime suspects are from an organization called Love the Earth—eco-terrorists. Fears that group is plotting another attack bring to town Jamie Dallas, an undercover agent with a wild streak, and Carla River, an FBI agent with a complicated past. When Jackson discovers a shocking link between the murder case and the bombing, they will all have to work together to solve both crimes before they blow up in their faces.

Reviewers say: “L.J. Sellers just keeps getting better. In Crimes of Memory, she pits unforgettable characters against a brilliant plot. Put this on your A-list! Then go search out the rest of the series.”—Peg Brantley, bestselling mystery author

J Carson Black’s release is a thriller called The Survivor’s Club. Check it out:

Detective Tess McCrae investigates a grisly crime scene in the ghost town of Credo, Arizona. To an ordinary investigator, the evidence suggests a cartel drug hit. But Tess, with a nearly faultless photographic memory, is far from ordinary, and she sees what others might miss: this is no drug killing. Someone went to gruesome lengths to cover up this crime.

The killer’s trail leads Tess from Tucson to California; from anti-government squatters in the Arizona mountains to the heights of wealthy society, including the rich and powerful DeKoven family, who've dominated Arizona commerce and politics since the 1800s. But as Tess follows the trail of gore and betrayal, perfect and indelible in her memory, she uncovers far more than one man’s murder, and solves much more than one isolated crime.

Reviewers say: “An utterly engrossing thriller. The Survivors Club grips us from the very start and simply doesn't let go. The novel seamlessly achieves that rarity in crime fiction: making our palms sweat while bringing the characters and their stories straight into our hearts. Bravo!" —Jeffery Deaver, New York Times bestselling author

The Author Hookup Trend

by L.J. Sellers, author of provocative mysteries & thrillers

Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg, J.T. Ellison and Catherine Coulter, our own dear friends Drew Kaufman and A.K. Alexander (Michelle Scott)—everywhere you look, authors are teaming up.

The trend seems more prevalent than ever, and I suspect it’s because authors are operating more independently now and because they have to work so hard to reach new readers. Collaborating with another writer brings a whole new readership to each partner, at least for that story or series, and hopefully with spillover to other works.

I never thought I could work that closely with someone. I don’t even have a writing group because it feels too collaborative. Of course, I count on my beta readers (and editor) for feedback, but that’s after I’ve nailed down the main story.

But I was approached recently by a friend about doing a collaboration, and I surprised myself by being receptive to the idea. Now that I have an FBI agent with her own series, a collaboration that brings Agent Dallas together with another established protag seems like a productive idea.

The other author has a kickass male FBI character and large readership of men, so the project could bring male readers into my Jackson series or, more likely, the series I’ve started with Agent Dallas.

We’re already brainstorming a plot, and I’d love to tell you who the other author is. But I worry that it might not pan out. We each have our own series we’re committed to, and we each have family responsibilities that may take precedence over a secondary writing project. But I want to do this and I hope we can make it work.

Ever since I decided to self-publish my newest story (with Agent Dallas), I’ve been getting my head back into indie mode and the marketing creativity it requires. It’s work, but it’s also fun and challenging, and this collaboration seems like a good way to expand my comfort zone and my readership.

What do you think? Have you collaborated with another author? Do you read books that are collaborations? Am I crazy?

When Bad Things Turn Out Well

by L.J. Sellers, author of provocative mysteries & thrillers

We discovered water in our bathroom wall recently, and the damage was extensive. My initial reactions were to first blame myself: How could I let this happen? Next, to be stressed about the time and cost of the repair.

Fortunately, my hairdresser (love this woman!) reminded me that insurance pays for things like this. The transition will be inconvenient and annoying, but in the end, the bathroom will be essentially remodeled for about the price of the deductible. A nice outcome.

I'm trying to keep that in mind as I go through a similar situation in my writing career. With my latest book, a standalone thriller, my editor wants me to make a major plot change, one that I disagree with. My initial reactions were the same as they were for the water problem—a sense of failure, then stress about a negative outcome.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize this could turn well. My beta readers (including a professional) love the story the way it is, and I'm not inclined to cut a plot element that ratchets up the tension on a global level. So, as much as I love publishing with Thomas & Mercer, I'm going indie with this one.

Even though I call it a standalone, the book features Agent Dallas—introduced in Crimes of Memory (Jackson #8)—and will launch a new series. Although publishing with Amazon has been great for my career, it's not a bad idea to diversify and keep some control of my work.

Additionally, I'll be able to bring the book to market sooner on my own, and I'll earn a higher royalty. So this could turn out like the bathroom situation—more benefits than drawbacks.

In the meantime, I have to get my head back into indie mode and start thinking about marketing again. This transition will also be a lot of work and at times frustrating, but ideas are coming to me, and I think my wonderful readers will support me. 

What do you think? Am I crazy for sticking with the story instead of the publisher? If you're one of my readers, will you try the new book?

Writing Naked

by C.J. West
Ever dream you’re standing in front of your locker back in high school then look down and discover you forgot your pants?

How about the one where the college semester is almost over and you haven’t been to class for two months? When I have this dream, I can’t remember which classes I am registered for or where they convene. It’s very distressing to be lost and afraid.

When I was a new writer I had these dreams all the time. There is something scary about opening yourself and your work up to criticism. In today’s world of anonymous feedback on Facebook, Amazon, and via email, it is so easy for someone to tell us how awful our work is. That makes it risky to send our work out into the world, or even to get it down on the page.

I remember being in the “first novel” group on Yahoo for years. So many of us looked at the blank screen and sat there. It might have been fear that kept our word count so low or it might have been uncertainty about how to put a novel together. Back then I would have killed to have an established author show me his writing process.

That’s what I’m going to do this year. Starting in August, I’m going to write and release my novel Two Bags Full as it is written. Not a polished draft, but my first draft the way I normally write a first draft. Each day, I’ll chat with readers about the story and characters. We’ll talk about what is happening at a time when the story is still changing. I think this is a unique experience to talk with the author about a book while it is still being written.

Readers will get to see the evolution of the book from draft to draft. To hear my plans for each draft from beginning to end and to see the tools I use to keep track of my work. As we go along we’ll remove the mystique so many people have about writing a novel and share the story in a way readers of the finished book never experience.

The discussion will be held in a private group funded by this Kickstarter project. If you would like to take part in the experience you need to register right away. No one will be admitted once the project begins.

The great thing about Kickstarter is that this project won’t begin unless we reach the funding goal, which means there will be about 1,000 people taking part in the project. With that many people coming along, there will be a good group to talk to anytime you want to discuss what is happening

I hope you’ll join me.

When the project is done and you go back to writing, you might feel like you’re naked, but at least you’ll know you’re not alone.

C.J. West is the author of eight suspense novels, one of which was optioned for film. A former computer systems consultant and blog talk radio host, C.J. has been writing novels since 1999. Find him at www.22wb.com or on Facebook.