by Jodie Renner, editor, author, speaker
Readers want to escape into your story world. They want to immerse themselves in your story and vicariously experience what your protagonist is experiencing. Your character’s reactions to what’s going on around them are what make the situation seem real and the character more charismatic, vulnerable and multi-dimensional. If your character’s reactions feel natural and believable to the reader, they will quickly suspend disbelief and become emotionally invested. They’ll be turning the pages with satisfaction.
So in order to bring your POV characters to life on
the page and make the readers start to worry about them, it’s critical to constantly
show their reactions to what’s happening to and around them. If you just
describe events and skip over or minimize characters’ reactions to what’s going
on, the characters will seem flat, boring, emotionless – or worse, cold and unfeeling.
Be sure to show your characters’ reactions.
As Jack M. Bickham says, “Readers want to know how your characters feel about what’s
happening to them, and want to see their
response to the words and actions of others and events unfolding around
them.”
Here’s a scene I just made up quickly where a father
needs to react more:
He just got into his office
when the phone rang. It was his wife. “Hi, hon. What’s up?”
“David, I’ve been trying to
reach you for hours. Cassie’s missing! She didn’t show up at school today and
her bed hasn’t been slept in! She’s not answering her cell phone and none of
her friends have seen her today. You’ve gotta come home.”
“All right, I’ll be there
soon.” He grabbed his coat and told the receptionist he’d be gone for the rest
of the day.
On the way home, he tried to
convince himself there was a good reason for his 14-year-old daughter’s absence.
Not only does this guy not seem to care much about his
daughter or be all that concerned that she’s missing, which unintentionally paints
him in a bad light, his lack of reaction makes for boring reading, too.
But don't overdo it.
But don't overdo it.
But do make sure the reaction actually fits the
situation and is in keeping with the character’s personality and motivations.
Cold, stoic, unfeeling characters won’t draw your reader in (unless it’s the
villain), but neither will constant emoting, gushing, wailing, raging, or
gnashing of teeth.
And have them react
immediately, as they would in real life.
To bring your character to life on the page, have him
or her react right away to exciting, frustrating, shocking, frightening, or stressful
events. Don’t delay the reaction. Immediately following the stressful stimulus, show your POV character's visceral reaction and/or a short, vehement thought-reaction, like No
way! Or You’re kidding. Or Oh my god. Or Idiot! Or What the hell? or You wish. Or What a hunk! Or Damn. (Or other swear word.) Or by some other quick
emotional or physical reaction.
Two sisters
are jogging in the park, deep in conversation when a loud horn behind them
makes them jump. Show them jumping (automatic reflex) with maybe a verbal
expletive, then looking back and laughing or whatever, before the cyclist
passes with a wave or a laugh or a curse, and then they shake their heads and
resume their conversation. The visceral reaction of your POV character and her
immediate thought-reaction or surprised cry or swear word will make the scene
more real to the readers. This is also "show, don't tell." Telling
would be "The horn surprised them and made them jump. Then they continued
talking." Show their reactions in a more compelling,
right-there way.
Show the reactions in their
natural order.
It’s important to show your character’s visceral
reaction to a situation first, before an overt action or words. And show
involuntary thought-reactions or word-reactions before more reasoned thought
processes and decision-making, which lead to more considered, thoughtful words
and conscious actions.
As Ingermanson and Economy put it, “Here’s a simple
rule to use: Show first whatever happens
fastest. Most often, this means you show interior emotion first, followed
by various instinctive actions or dialogue, followed by the more rational kinds
of action, dialogue, and interior monologue.”
And don’t skip those first steps! Remember, we’re
inside that character’s head and body, so you deepen their character and draw
us closer to them by showing us what they’re feeling immediately inside – those
involuntary physical and thought reactions that come before controlled,
civilized outward reactions.
Jack Bickham points out that credibility results from
understanding the stages of response.
Character reaction, like human reaction in general, has four individual parts.
As writers, we don't necessarily have to put all four on the page at any given
point in time, but any reactions we do show should be stated in the order they
occur.
First, show the stimulus that has caused them to react.
Then show some or all of these responses, in this
order:
1.
the
character’s visceral response
-
adrenaline
surging, pulse racing, stomach clenching, heart pounding, mouth drying, flushing,
shivering, cold skin, tense muscles, sweating, blushing, shakiness, etc.
2.
their
unconscious knee-jerk physical action – yelling, gasping, crying out, snatching
hand or foot away from source of heat or pain, striking out, etc.
3.
their
thought processes and decision to act
4.
their
conscious action or verbal response
If we violate that order, we’re depriving the reader
of an opportunity to get further into the head and skin of that character, to
feel what they’re feeling, to feel part of the story. And the reader may
subconsciously feel disappointed that we didn’t give them a more complete
picture, or they’ll wonder how the character really felt, how the event really
affected them inside.
We also risk creating a tiny, niggling disquiet in the
mind of our readers, a sense that there is something wrong, and that disconnect
can bump them out of the story.
Readers and writers – any thoughts on this topic?
See my related articles, “The Emotion Thesaurus,” “Show Visceral Reactions First” and “Expressing Thought-Reactions in Fiction.”
A great resource for character reactions is The
Emotion Thesaurus, by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi.
Copyright © Jodie Renner, September 2012
Resources:
Jack M. Bickham, The
38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)
Randy Ingermanson and Peter Economy, Writing Fiction for Dummies
Jodie Renner is a freelance fiction editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Captivate Your Readers, Fire up Your Fiction, and Writing a Killer Thriller, as well as two clickable time-saving e-resources, Quick Clicks: Spelling List and Quick Clicks: Word Usage. She has also organized two anthologies for charity, incl. Childhood Regained – Stories of Hope for Asian Child Workers. You can find Jodie at www.JodieRenner.com, www.JodieRennerEditing.com, her blog, http://jodierennerediting.blogspot.com/, and on Facebook and Twitter.
Great stuff, Jodie, as usual! In fast-acting law enforcement/thriller situations, sometimes it's hard to know what happens first, the thought/emotional or physical reaction, but they both have to be there.
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