Where the Hell Did I Put That Damned Earlobe Again?

By Andrew E. Kaufman

Newly branded author of psychological thrillers

I think it’s in my nature to stretch myself with each new novel. I’m on my third now, and I’ve noticed I’m talking risks I never would have previously considered. I suspect that’s because I’m developing confidence as an author. I’m growing. As a result, my stories seem to be growing in complexity as well.

That’s a good thing, but it can be a scary thing, too.

Because I’m also driving myself a little crazy. Several times, I’ve wondered whether I’m going too deep into the literary waters with this newfound sense of freedom and adventure. Kinda like a swimmer who dares to go past the buoys, then looks back and thinks, “Holy crap! Where’d the shoreline go?”

That’s me, right about now.

Case in point: about twenty-thousand words into the manuscript, it occurred to me that I’d lost an earlobe. Well, I didn’t really lose it—more like I misplaced it somewhere among the pages. And it wasn’t mine; it belonged to one of my characters. The severed appendage was an important piece of evidence in the story, and I'd forgotten to remember where I’d strategically placed it. Not good.

I actually ended up having to search the document for said earlobe, and alas, I found it exactly where I’d left it: in chapter fifteen. Silly me (In case you’re wondering, it was in a parking garage, underneath a car).

But it got me thinking about my writing routine. I’m what many in the industry would call a “pantser.” That is to say, I write on the seat of my pants, using intuition to guide me through my stories rather than plotting them out beforehand. I’ve never done outlines. I don’t understand them, and the times when I’ve tried, I’ve never stuck to them anyway. For me, structure feels oppressive.

People often ask me how I can do that, how I can write a novel with no outline and no notes to tell me where the story will go. To that, my answer is always same: “I. Have. No. Freaking. Idea.” But the truth is, I just do, and it always seems to work. My story arcs seem to flow correctly, and my endings tie everything together nicely.

I think what it comes down to is a wiring sort of thing. It’s just how we’re made. Some of us do well in a structured environment while others don’t. I happen have the attention span of gnat and I’m easily distracted and my brain moves faster than I can often keep track, and, well...see what I mean?

I’ve spoken to other authors who carefully plot their stories, and they can’t see how I can write a book that way, which is fine because I can’t see how they can do it their way, either. But it's just fine no matter what because when it comes to writing,  I don't think it's a matter of keeping the rhythm--it's a matter of finding it. We all have to find our own way, and nothing is right or wrong as long as it works for us.